Detonation

Detonation is when you completely open yourself to someone and you become vulnerable to them but you move beyond vulnerability and you actually become exposed to them. One day when everything is going wrong and you are so tired and have no fight left in you, he literally turns all your insecurities, fears and regrets into ammunition. When he strings a twenty word sentence that is your undoing, and he drops each word like a bomb and then he proceeds to detonate you with the coup de grace of merciless cruelty and unkindness that  only he can deal and that you know that you will never come back from as a couple and which will take you years to heal from.

I can see how detonation can be appealing to some people; that when you leave, the other person should be at their weakest and their broken. I can see the appeal in being able to have the power to take someone's self esteem with you. I can see how that can be better for your own self esteem to  be able to turn a whole human being to rubble under your feet. I can also see how that can be the easiest way to go. 

I was reading Upile Chisala's Nectar and she says that we should always leave people if not the way we found them but better than how we found them, not less. This is something that rarely happens but how different for the both of you that the last word spoken between the two of you is one of kindness. 

'Be tender when you love,
Remember where the wounds are
What the line is
Which words burn
And if you leave
Leave your lover as soft as
You found them
If not
Softer'