My solitude is not confining

 Also, there were needs in me that were bigger and, in the demands they made upon me and the direction they were giving to my life, they were more totalitarian than my needs for company and intimacy. They were needs that required solitude, more of it than I could ever legitimately expect to find within marriage. 

- John Moriarty 

I have become William James' folded page

Creased and creased again by solitude

In the face of most people I come across

I collapse and fold back into myself 

Defiant to a politeness that has become tyrannical

Pressing even harder on the edges of the fold 

Razor sharp to careless digits none the wiser

And to those who get too close, uninvited

I am animal after all, swearing by boundaries 

I own up to the solipsism in my peace

How do I begin to let go of its allure

When this peace has lived up to its name?

I sleep and wake to a self undisturbed

Even though life teems beyond self-preservation

There are difficulties in relinquishing

A peace that has been so good to me

On occasion, I leave the hole to sip the batswana air

that is Ramothibe Pooe and Katlego Letlonkane

And settle back into cozy and warm-lit rooms 

Aureated by candles, music, and literature

Companions that are more than I deserve

Earthly pleasures that have made a Christian of me

Surely, this is the work of grace, Lord I am not worthy

My name is a black-knee'd kneel of gratitude 

To God for the great minds who bear His image

Who've built libraries and record stores within me

And have garlanded my exteriors with Japanese Maples

Such plenitude, what more could a simple spirit ask for?

I have been passed over and dispossessed by a loneliness

That has taken hold of the souls of many others

And here I sit in front of a blank page, spared and intact

I can't shake the feeling that I should be craving 

To have my peace disturbed and interrupted

That particular desire is foreign to me  

I've lost it in my folds, with this effortless poem

Being all the energy I can dedicate to its search

My morning caffeine-induced rituals with humble baristas

Suffice to affirm my personhood in this strong city

I have no want

To work, to eat, to sleep, to be woken up by weavers

I have no want

To sing, to dance, to read, to write, to pray, to inspire

I have no want

And if I were to one day wake up to a dreaded diagnosis

Disclosing the number of days left to delight in life

I would go about tomorrow's business as I have gone about it today

I would be unruffled and undis-eased

My spirit is full, and the taps of heaven dismiss droughts

Through the gift of a solitude that has not been confining